Finding Ways to Nurture Through Seasons of Change

If you have been around for a while, or have known me personally, you know that my husband and I recently embarked on becoming caregivers to a flock of chickens.

Recently, I was asked, “Why chickens?”

While this question was innocently being asked out of curiosity as to whether or not we desired eggs or broilers (meaning we are raising chickens for their meat), I internalized this question on a much deeper level. Once again, if you have known me personally, you know that going deeper is no small surprise.

I landed on this clear answer: There is a deep need within me to nurture.

I have longed to be a mother for as long as I can remember, and my husband and I have been blessed with three amazing daughters. Nurturing them has been one of the biggest joys and blessings of my entire life.

I have loved physically nurturing them: wrapping them in snuggly blankets, speaking words of love and truth into their hearts, providing counsel through life’s circumstances, and caring for their hearts and souls through each of life’s ups and downs. I have considered it all to be such a blessing.

However, when the children we have been entrusted with grow up and fly the nest, a heart that longs for nothing more than to nurture can often feel lost, lonely, or bereft.

A question that began growing in my heart was, "How does one healthfully navigate such a season of transition and change?"

It may seem obvious to simply find other avenues for pouring forth one's need and gift for nurturing; however, different types of questions can quickly arise. For instance, what if, in and through all the nurturing, you find that you are tired? Or defeated?

What if you grow to doubt that your nurturing has even been beneficial to anyone at all, least of all your own children?

How Can We Nurture Through the Changing Seasons of Motherhood?

All of these are questions I have wrestled with recently. Thankfully, as I laid each one before the Lord in prayer, He provided truth over lies. He graciously reminded me how His Word does not return void (Isaiah 55:11), and that His love alone prevails over all things (1 Corinthians 13:7-8, 13).

I have found this to be true: For me, for the very health of my soul, finding other avenues to nurture has been the difference between night and day. And, it doesn’t have to look like motherhood all over again. It may look like volunteering for a ministry or organization that addresses a need or social-justice topic I am particularly passionate about.

It may look like opening my home to be a mentor, counselor, or teacher.

Or, it may look like fostering cats or dogs who are in need of a transitional home before finding their forever home.

For me, as I have navigated this particularly difficult season of letting go of our two oldest daughters into the world, I have found that in order to continue nurturing our youngest daughter well, I needed to find other avenues to fulfill my personal nurturing needs (as well as help heal some of my wounds the entire letting-go process has opened).

After all, with our youngest daughter being in middle school, there are just as many ups and downs when navigating through these years! When a mom's nurturing tendencies aren't readily received... something more may very well need to be in place for receiving that hug or cuddle!

Or, is having a middle-schooler who pushes away hugs only happens in my family? (Note sarcasm.)

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I have discovered that many individuals find a therapeutic outlet for their nurturing needs through the care of animals. There are vast ministries that exist in our world where horses, cats, and dogs are cared for, and it yields itself to becoming a therapeutic endeavor for both the individual as well as the animal. Ultimately, a bond is created, a relationship is established, and love is fostered and grown.

So, can you guess where I landed in finding fulfillment for my need for nurturing?

Now, while I love horses, I knew this wasn't a realistic avenue for myself or our family. Many may call me crazy, but the animal that fit my need-to-nurture ways was found within the joy of a clucking chicken.

I take that back: an entire flock of clucking chickens!

Nurturing them from their young, freshly hatched chick days, through their pullet-adolescent stages, and then into their egg-laying, fully feathered glory adult days has been just what my hurting heart has needed to navigate these challenging times of transition in motherhood.

Not only has it been beneficial for my heart, but it has been life-giving to our youngest daughter and our relationship. She, too, has something to nurture, care for, and love. She has adored cuddling our young, fluffy chicks, and then watching them grow. Where I only wanted to name the entire flock my "Little Women," she has taken it upon herself to name each precious individual clucker. These chickens have grown our mother-daughter bond and given us something to laugh over as each of their personalities develop and their feathers grow in.

Miraculously, our chickens have helped soften the blow that came when our family suddenly transitioned from a family of five to a family of three. With our oldest daughters flying from the nest and onto their own personal journeys, these fine, feathered friends have helped ease our youngest daughter’s loneliness. Truly, she was suddenly asked to embrace the role of an only child and it has been filled with all the emotions.

While chickens may truly not be your thing, there is indeed something to be said in that caring for animals can be helpful in navigating through change and remaining true to the innate need of nurturing within each of us as human beings.

So, what will you choose to nurture today?

I chose chickens, but God created a variety of animals for us on this glorious planet.

So, the answer to the question of, why chickens?

Simply put, for all of the above and I happen to enjoy the gifts chickens give in their beautiful, edible eggs.

Written by Stacy McClelland, 2022